the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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