he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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