His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
