Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
