Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
