He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
