Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
