She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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