"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
