everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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