hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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