Apparently you make a good broom.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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