Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
