Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
