well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize