similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
