like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
