All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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