We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
