Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
