# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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