i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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