What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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