I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
