haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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