i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
