just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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