Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Rumble strips road head = magical
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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