Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
