So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize