This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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