I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Can I color on your dick again?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
