About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
