Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
