windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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