I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
All the doctor said was why
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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