Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
