his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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