I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
mondays should just be called national damage control day
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
