pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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