There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
