i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
