I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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