It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
