I've blown a few things in my day
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
