there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
