i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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