I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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