I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
