I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
