rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
