If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
