You don't have asthma, your pregnant
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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