I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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