For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
