READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
