The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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