you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
