Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
