I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
