I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
