with your own penis?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
