I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
