On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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