can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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