Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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