So drunk, too bad you don't want this
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
