We're facebook friends in real life
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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