"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
