Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize