he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
