Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Randomize
